Midnight Thinking Session

Well hi, yes I am up right now...

I'm not really sure why I'm up, I just couldn't fall asleep. Basically I was laying on my bed trying to fall asleep but all I could do was think. But the thing is that I don't know what I was thinking ya know?

It's like one of those moments were there are a bunch of thoughts going through your head but you're not really thinking about it... you're just like drifting and day dreaming..

So I basically just stayed awake, and then I decided to post a stupid, random, unnecessary post about my midnight thinking session.

I'm afraid my mom is going to come into my room and take my computer away... but knowing her she's a really heavy sleeper, so I don't have to worry too much. It would most likely be my sister who would wake up, considering a fly could wake her up... sometimes she really makes me wonder.

Anyway I don't really know what to say.. I guess I can say that stuff is actually normal here, I'm not missing Montana that much anymore, and I have a good group of friend here, and I'm happy. I'm not the shy loner girl I used to be, I'm a new Janie and I'm really happy. I've always wanted to be outgoing, and the thing was that I was always outgoing, but I just thought that if I showed it, I wouldn't be accepted because everyone thought of me as someone else.

I guess this move turned out to be a good thing.

Janie

Sickly Feelings and Birthday Wishes

Good evening. Blah blah that was awkwardly formal.

So anyway. I would first like to say Happy Birthday to my sister! She is now 17! haha what an oldie.

So another thing I would like to say is that I do not feel well at all. NOT ONE BIT!

I have a pounding headache, and I'm dizzy and my stomach hurts and etc... long story short, I'm in pain and it's not fun :(

I stayed home from school today which was boring because I sleep all day and now I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight...

My mom says that it might be the flu, but my dad said it's just a fever.

I don't know what it is, I just want to get better!

Anyway on a lighter topic, my friend from back home is flying out here to stay with me for a couple of days. I'm really excited because I mean I don't really know what's going on back home so it'll be nice to catch up.

Janie

Rock

So my cousin called me today (she lives in arizona) and she told me she has never been so tired. She went to the grand canyon today. My cousin and I are really close, even though she's only 14, we talk a lot, I haven't seen her in a while.

So anyway she told me what it was like there, and I started thinking about how cool it would be to experience that. I personally have never gone, but after everything she told me, I definitely want to go.

It is one of the wonder of the world after all.

So here's my question...

Has anyone been to any of the wonders of the world?

Janie

Mainstream, Problematic

Okay so I have a guilty pleasure and I thought I'd share.

Gossip Girl.

I'm going to be honest, it's an amazing show, I'm usually not one for drama, but I read the books back in 8th grade and I thought why not watch the show when it came out. After the first season I realized that the show is COMPLETELY different from the books, but strangely addicting.

So that's where I discovered that Leighton Meester (Blair) sings, and she's also surprisingly good. Her new song called Your Love's a Drug came out and it probably the only pop song I own. It has a good beat and he voice doesn't sound to over produced so its good.

Now I have a serious situation.

College.

I have no idea what I want to do! I mean I really like art, and history, and books and now I'm starting to freak out because the school guidance counselor told me that I have to start planning what i want to do. I know it's actually late for me to start sending out college applications but, I'm taking a year off because my parents want me to "know the earth" so they're sending me to live with my grandparents who live in Wales and then from there I'll drift over europe for a year.

But going back to college, I want to go to this school called Parson's New School, it's in New York City, and it's a design school. But I also want to go to to NYU or maybe Cooper Union. I don't know I mean I still have time to choose, and I could always change schools if I don't like what I choose, but I mean I like everything...

Janie

Addictions, Confusions and Vacations

Heylo. weird way to start a blog post, anyway. I have become obsessed with the game Sally's Spa. I know I know, weird, but my sister got it on her ipod and I've been playing it, and it's addicting! I'm playing it while writing this right now. So how was everyones Saturday?? *cricket cricket*

I'm going to be honest, I'm in a silly mood today, I have a lot of energy, and I don't know why. I should be sleeping... it's late. I guess I'm just so bad ass that I stay up late.... WHAT A JOKE. I'm not bad ass at all!

I wonder what gave me so much energy..? Maybe it was the 3 packs of smarties that I ate... or maybe the fact that I went for a run this morning? I don't know! Rawr.

I want to go to Geneva! That would be so cool, I wonder if I can convince one of my parents to let me go for the summer, but wait would that mean that it would be winter there? No... Switzerland and the US are located in the same hemisphere, what am I thinking?!

Whatever gave me so much energy obviously wiped out some brain cells, cause I'm not really thinking straight.

I realized that I haven't posted anything more about the books I'm reading... ya well I don't think that's going to work out, I guess I'll just mention whether or not I liked the book or not.

How many times have I changed the topic in this post? I'm starting to confuse myself. Thats to bad. I hope anyone who reads this doesn't get confused!

BYE!

JaNiE

^hehe cool

Enchanting

Today was a good day. The weather was great, the teachers did nothing, I didn't run into the leather jacket wearing jerk, and I got my new cellphone.

When I got home, I arrived to see my mom sitting on the couch with an eager smile, I was a little scared at the beginning, its awkward seeing my mom with a toothy smile. Then she pulled out a blackberry bold and handed it over to me.

Now I'm not one for the hot new technology, I was perfectly fine with my razor, but I have to say, this phone is the sickest thing I own! it's awesome, and a lot of my friends from back home own one, so it works out.

I also went to the park today, it's like one of those perfect spring days, and I just loved it.

Nothing new has been really happening, same classes, same school, same people. I guess things have officially settled down. Which is good, I've been waiting for that.

Oh by the way, when I went to the park today, I took Poppy. She found an adorable (but not as adorable as Poppy) dalmatian puppy. They started playing and chasing eachother around. It was absolutely adorable! haha I wish I took my camera.

Janie

A new day, a new interest

So today my gov. teacher said that we would be having debates next week, in front of the class.. alone. Now normally it wouldn't be a big deal if I was still in Montana. But here, since I don't know anyone I really am freaking out! I get stage fright, and I stutter, and I turn red as a tomato! I SO don't want to do this! Also I have to choose an controversial topic to debate about, and I have absolutely now idea what I'm going to do it on. I think my gov teacher is out to get me.. who would assign a project like this! Maybe I'll pretend to be sick that day... no I'm a terrible liar. Oh lord please help me.. I'm going to make a complete fool of myself!

Putting that little spasm aside, I wanted to talk about something that I have recently become interested in.

Photography.

I know I know, everyone seems to be obsessed with it recently, but I've actually done some research about it, like the different types of cameras, en effect and all that stuff, and I'm actually really interested. I've tried taking some pictures but, I'm just a beginner, so I'm not pushing it.

If anyones interested in photography leave a comment or something, that is if you read this. Like I said in my first post, this blog is more for me to express my feelings than to have a million readers.

Well Bye,

Janie

Bad boys and Bad days

So today I met a new person, who is not particularly the kind of person I would usually associate myself with. As everyone knows, schools have labels for every kid. The popular one, the geeky one, the player, etc. And today I have the pleasure to bump into the supposed "bad ass". Totally not impressed if you ask me. So he wears a leather jacket, big deal! Does that mean that if 5 year old girl wears a leather jacket, that immediately means she punches kids and steals their lunch money? Ya, I think not.

The way it happened was that I was walking to chemistry (worst class... ever) and all of the sudden I ram into something and fall flat on my butt... fun? no.. embarrassing? hell yes. Not only did all of my books fall, but so did all my papers. The rude person I happened to walk into wasn't even kind enough to help with at least ONE paper.. ONE! like really? Are you going to die because you bent down to pick up a few flimsy papers.

After the little scenario happened his response to me was a "will you watch where you're going?!" and a storm off.

Great guy, really, I like him...

Days like these make me tired

Janie

Realizations

So I've realized that when I blog, I sound all depressed and sad and serious. But in truth I'm really not like that, I do like to have fun, I mean sure I'm independent and I like to be alone, but when I'm with friends, I know how to have a good time.

The thing is that it's hard to convey a personality over text. There are some people who know how to do it, and it's really entertaining to read, but I guess I have some trouble with that, especially since this is the first time I've ever blogged.

So an update on life, lets see, what's new here? I mean my birthday is coming up, so that means I will be a legal adult, and I will be able to join the army and buy cigarettes without an issue, not that I plan on doing either of those things.

Don't you think it's weird that kids are allowed to go off to war to kill people at age 18, but aren't allowed to drink legally until they're 21? Interesting situation, my cousin did a position paper on it, but that's not really the point.

So I know this is going to sound weird but I have recently become interested in The Vampire Diaries, I like it, my friend from back home told me about it and said that I should give it a try. It's actually a pretty good show, a lot of people think that it's a rip off of twilight, and although I haven't read the books of either twilight or vamp diaries, so I can't really compare them.

Well that's the new take on my life.

Janie

Impressions, Internet, and Issues

So hi, I realize that I haven't posted anything since tuesday, and that was because my internet has been acting really weird, and I haven't been able to sign on anywhere.

Anyway, things have been really awkward lately, I mean like I'm not sure thats the word to use but I thought that I would've been a little used to everything by now but it's not and I just don't know why. I have friends, things are becoming a little normal, but I still feel like there's something missing and I'm not sure what it is.

I guess it's just that things aren't the same and it's going to be hard to adjust. Especially with new people to meet.

Thats a thing I've been wanting to talk about. Impressions, like if you think about it, everybody is constantly making an impression on somebody, even on old friends, because each thing you do gives them a new view of you, and it really sucks when you're the new girl because it really affects what they people think, especially when you move in the middle of the year.

Impressions on teachers is what really has me worried, because for starters, they don't care that I'm knew or that I already learned this topic of if ive never heard of another, they expect me to catch up by myself, and honestly that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It's such a stupid issue that I could live without. But theres nothing I can do about it...

Well I got to go and do the pile of homework I have for tomorrow... wish me luck

Janie

Recommendations

Hey so today was calm at school, mostly all the teachers had meetings throughout the day so all we did in a lot of the classes was watch movies that were related to the class.

Today my friend Hayley, (the one I mentioned in recent posts) told me about this site called Quizilla and she said that I would like it because its like this site where people just write stories about anything and everything. So today after school I checked it out and I have to so, I'm hooked. It's actually really cool, I mean a lot of the stories aren't my type, but there are others that are really cool. So I guess what I'm saying is check it out if you like to read, there's also poetry and quizzes and a bunch of other things to do that will keep you entertained for an hour or two. Anyway I wanted to say more about Alice in Wonderland but I kind of lost my train of thought... so I guess when it comes back to me i'll say it, but W do want to say that i have started briar rose and I'm in love! It's soo good! Idk if I mentioned that I started it already, but ya. So thats all

I hope everyone is having a good week!

Janie

Week Two

Hey there, this weekend pasted by in a blur, I was at my dads apartment and well the internet still isn't set up there so I couldn't post anything, and then today I had school. School is settling down, I have my little group now, which I'm thankful for and everything is unpacked at home, my room finally looks alright and I wanted to post a picture, but then I thought it to be a little weird to post a picture of your room online so I decided against it.

So like I said in the post from friday, I wanted to start talking about the books I'm reading, and then one I just finished is Alice in Wonderland. The book is a lot of fun, and I really like the way that Lewis Carroll made up so many words. I know a lot of people who read the book and are like "why don't I understand these words, I speak english I should know this!?" but its a good read. There are some articles that say that Alice in Wonderland is an opium induced novel, and to be truthful, I wouldn't be surprised I mean where else would you get all the ideas of a blue caterpillar, a rabbit in a waistcoat, the card soldiers and all the other stuff in his book. But even if it is true, that doesn't mean that it's not a good book, because it is and I recommend it to anyone who wants an adventure.

Well thats all for now, I have homework to do! post more soon!

Janie

P.S. for anyone doesn't know what opium is, it's a drug that is smoked and it puts you into a dream like state. just a fun fact

Quick!

Hi, I would just like to say that if you look to the right of my blog you will see the books I'm currently reading, so soon when I finish one or two I'm going to start talking about them, I mean they're really good and I really like Briar Rose, its like dark but still good at the same time.

I'll give more details soon

Well I gotta go!

Goodnight!

Janie

Funky

Today a weird package came in the mail.

It was addressed to me but it came from an address ive never heard of, it's sitting in my room right now.. right across from me. Im not really sure if i want to open it.

So, I'd like to get a point across, my mom and dad are not together, they are divorced but they didn't want to split up the family so no one ever moved out, my dad has an apartment where he stays for the weekends and sometimes lets my mom use it for her own reasons. It's really complicated and I don't get why they still do it, I mean Mel and I aren't 5 years old anymore, we can take the fact that our parents are divorced and that they both have a boyfriend/girlfriend.

But the thing is that its hard with them always arguing, they think that living together while being divorced doesn't split up the family, but it splits it up more, they argue over the smallest thing and they go at it for hours. I remember when I was a 6 and Mel was 4, she got so scared that they only way she calmed down was hiding under her bed.

I know that all parents argue, but it's ridiculous how mine fight, they yell and scream and when its really bad they throw things.

Now its gotten better, my dad learned that if he just pretends to agree with everything my mom will either get bored, or annoyed and leave him alone.

But on those rare occasions when it becomes a 'who's-voice-is-louder' match, I just take my car and drive somewhere for a while.

I'm not really sure why I decided to talk about this, I mean I guess I just wanted to get it out there, its out of the blue but it doesn't really matter, my parents wont see this and if they did, they wouldn't care.

Im not saying that my parents don't care about my sister or me, they're the most caring and awesome parents ever, when they're not together.

Anyway, this weekend I'm going to spend some time at my dads apartment and fix up my room there, and I might as well take poppy so she gets used to the place.

Well thats all for now, hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Janie

P.S. I know the title has nothing to do with this post, I was just in the mood.

Surprise

Hi, so today after I got home from school my mom had a surprise for me. She told me that she has been thinking about it a lot and she said that I should get a dog. At first I was like, why would I want a dog? And then I thought about it, why not get a cute puppy? So at around 4 she took me to the pet shop and I chose a puppy!

I have to say that im completely happy with my choice!

She's a Bernese Mountain dog, and I name her Poppy. Isn't she just the cutest thing?!

She likes to chew on shoes, I guess because her teeth are still growing or something, anyway Mel got jealous and started asking why she couldn't get a dog, and mom told her we could share Poppy, but she said she wanted her own, so I guess she might get her own.

Knowing Mel, she might get like a toy poodle or something. By the time Poppy grows she'll be able to eat the poodle in one bite. Haha, I wouldnt let her, but she's going to grow big.

The guy at the pet store said she might grow to be at least 110 lbs.

But thats in a while from now!

Well thats all the news from here!

Oh wait, actually I forgot to mention Haley. She's in my AP English class and she's super nice, she's a lot like me, she's given me a lot of book suggestions and I've given her some too. She invited me to hang out on Friday, and its good to finally have one friend that I can talk to about stuff.

Now, thats it.

Ill post more about Poppy and school and other things soon

Janie

Changing TImes

Hi, so a new update on the new school and the new life.

Update One:

School is hectic, there's so much work to do! There's barely enough time to do it!

Update Two:

I've met a lot of new nice people and now the school janitor isn't my only friend (I sound like such a creep when I say that...) I've made two new friends that have been really nice and they've been helping me by showing me around and helping me get used to stuff.

Update Three:

My new room is looking pretty good, I like it. The theme is black and white and then my bed is this deep blue. I think it looks good, although I haven't finished painting the walls yet, I have to finish the design. It's going to take me a while, but I have time.

So those are pretty much the newest things going on right now, I don't really have much else to say. My dad is happy at his new job, and my mom is happy to be decorating a new house. My sister is happy to be living in a city, but I still wish I was in Montana, at the barn.

The thing is that here there's really not that much to do, i mean yea its a big city and all, but a lot of the places are crowded with tourists and really, who wants to deal with that. The best thing about living in a small town is that you don't have to worry about a big crown coming in and taking over every shop, every once in a while a couple of people will come passing by because there's a traffic jam on the highway or because they want to check out the small town feel or they need a place to stay. Here I can't go anywhere without my map, I get lost to easily and I don't know which are the places for kids, or adults or teenagers. There's just to much to get used to.. I wish I was back home at the farm, everything would be alright.

-Janie

Day One

So today, was my first official day of school... it was, well i really dont know what to say about it.

The school was HUGE, finding my way around was the biggest challenge i've had my whole life, and not only that, i was basically trampled by students. It doesnt really help that i'm small

And the teachers? well lets just say that they dont care that im a new student, if im late to class, well thats one strike for me.

I saw Mel once today and from the looks of it she already made plenty of friends, I on the other hand, i made one friend and as awkward as it sounds, it was the school janitor. He was the only one nice enough to help me find my way around.

After school was the worst because i had to go out and buy some things from school and i turned at the wrong part and well lets just say that, the part of town where i ended up in the wrong side of town, and i got seriously freaked.

My eventful day was no fun.

Janie

Windy City

Well I guess I'm actually going to do this...

This blog isn't to get readers, or to become popular. This is just a way so I can get my feelings out, and I need to get my feelings out for something recent.

I just moved, from a quiet town in Montana, for a raging city in Illinois. I was so used to the quietness of Montana, living on a ranch, riding my horse Moonlight, (I know corny name) whenever I wanted to. But now, I'm here in Chicago, and I can't help but feel completely and utterly lost. It's so different, back home you just had to walk 5 minutes down the road and I was at the local drugstore. Here I have a map under my nose 24/7, and the worst part?

School starts on Monday.

This has me worried, I'm a naturally shy person, so I'm not sure how 'friends' are going to work out. Now I'll admit, back home I wasn't Miss Popular, but I wasn't a loner either, I had my best friend and my horse, thats all I needed, but here... I have no one.

What I'm really hoping for, is that this school isn't full of stereotypes.. like the popular cheerleader with the quarterback. I so don't need that.

Sometimes I wish I was like my little sister, Melonie. She's the most outgoing, spontaneous, and outrageously random person I know. I admire her so much and I wish I was more like her. See Melonie has this spunky personality, and she's beautiful, back home she was the state champion horseback rider and well she just has all the qualities i wish for. She's only 2 years younger than me, so we spend a lot of time together. I know that being here was a really big change for her as it was for me.

So for now this is all I have time to write... I have to unpack.

A new life begins now.

My View from the plane.

Janie